Well, no one seemed to be able to answer this one so at the point that i was going to say goodbye to NC forever, i took a leap of faith and just did a jail and plugin update via the TrueNAS GUI. I had made my backup and didn't really care what would happen. Interestingly enough, the update went through. I did get the notification that updates in between multiple major versions was not allowed but a quick edit of the version in config.php bypassed that. To my surprise, the update completed but it didn't go out of maintenance mode. Again, a quick edit of config.php took care of that and so i could all of a sudden access nextcloud again, version 24.0.5 including mysql 8.0 and php 8 was up and running using the internal IP. external access didn't work because of the cert and ssl addition to the plugin install. It took only to redirect HAproxy to 443 instead of 80 to fix that.
So here we are again. I have moved most of my NC stuff to onedrive in the mean time as i had a 1Tb subscription but the functionality of autosyncing pictures from different mobile phones to different accounts is still a feature that i have not found with other cloud solutions.
Let's see how long this one survives...